So where did all this photography stuff start then?
I remember always wanting a camera, and always wanting to take pictures but I was plagued with a voice in my head that said, “There are enough photographers out there, what makes you think you’ll be any good?”
I was determined not to ‘jump on the bandwagon’ as I saw it. Everyone and their dog is a photographer these days, just as everyone and their ten year old nephew can design a web site (but thats another story…)
I was determined to resist the urge. Over the years I felt a pressure building within myself. “Take photos, take photos , take photos , take photos , take photos” , it would say over and over again. It began to drive me nuts, but yet still I manged to resist the urge.
Eventually I succumbed and bought a rubbish little compact camera, but still I was determined not to use it!
Finally in 2009 whilst on a surfing holiday with my brother in Newquay we were walking between pubs when I felt something snap inside myself. The bubble of “take photos , take photos” welled up and took control. I ran off leaving my rather perplexed brother on his own, while I sneaked passed the bouncers of a night club and started doing some manic paparazzi impression on the sozzled party going students.
When challenged as to what I was doing, I came back to myself and made a rather sheepish quick exit.
It was the very next morning that I decided to buy a DSLR and start taking photos. Sod what everyone else was up to.
This was a sign. This was something I had to do.
When I returned home I did a bit of research and decided to buy a Nikon D40. I figured I’d play its safe and buy a cheap camera rather than blow a load of dosh on something I didn’t know I’d necessarily click with.
Once I started taking photos in 2009 I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders and I felt a peace with myself. It felt as if I’d been searching for something all my life and had finally found it.
My passion for photographer grew and grew and I guess you could say it became my obsession. Suddenly I was able to read about photography avidly with a sense of excitement and anticipation.
The really odd thing was when I started reading photography blogs and I realized I already knew pretty much most of what the photographer was saying. It was just instinctive.Obviously I had to learn the technical aspects of the camera, but the composition came naturally. My philosophy is to turn off the brain and shoot by instinct. Don’t think, just do.
As for the future I just want to keep learning and keep taking photos. I’m not trying to capture what I see. I’m trying to capture how I felt, visually. I’m not a purist by any means I really don’t care if the final image is true representation of what I saw, as long as it conjures up emotions of how I felt when I saw it.
It feels as if the camera is connected directly to my emotions with the shutter being pressed automatically, I’m not even there. I find it wonderfully therapeutic.
As for the future I have no sense of how talented I am or am not. All I know is that I love photography and I want to spend every waking moment doing it. Who knows whether I’ll end up doing it full time. It doesn’t really matter. As long as I can keep taking photos, I have found my happiness, my creative outlet, my voice and my peace.