Tag Archives: emptiness

My personal meditation experiences


By April 2019 i will have been meditating for 4 years.

I thought I write a list of my personal experiences over this time

- decrease in stress
- decrease in fight/flight sensitivity
- decrease in anxiety
- increase in social confidence
- increase in compassion
- sudden urge to cry
- sudden emergence of long forgotten memories
- sudden insights/knowledge
- feelings of bliss
- feelings of rage
- feelings of depression
- feelings of ecstasy
- leaned how to make pain dissipate at will
- seeing white flashes
- seeing Intense visual hallucinations
- Feelings of floating and weightlessness
- Feeling that waves of orgasmic static energy waves were flowing all over my body
- Feeling that the body had dissolved leaving only the face, hands and feet floating in space
- Feeling that my hands were expanding in size.
- Feelings that energy was pulsing, rising and expanding from my abdomen and that I might explode
- Perceiving my body as pure energy
- Uncontrollable laughing and crying
- Uncontrollable violent shaking
- Loss of self and experiencing non-separate everythingness
- Loss of self and experiencing infinite black nothingness
- Loss of self and loss of the past, future and all understanding of the concept of time

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The night after the intensive Zen retreat


I just woke up as nothing.

From within sleep the void opened up again.

It was complete emptiness, nothingness, living death. Then their were golden sparks, golden fireworks. Fireworks of joy. Fireworks of joy, in the death nothingness.
joy, love, nothingness, joy, love nothingness.

Then flashes of white sheet lightening. flashes of everything. flashes of nothing. Light and dark alternating. I am everything, I am nothing.

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