Tag Archives: intensive
So I am now in a position to compare a 3 day Ayahuasca retreat with a 3 day intensive zen retreat.
Ayahuasca is a flood and a zen koan is an overworked file clerk.
When we are children we are high energy expression. We are fearless. We are timeless. We just are.
As we age we start to judge ourselves. Each day we put on a new jumper without removing the last. Each jumper is that days baggage of self identification. Who we believe ourselves to be based on our memories and experiences.
Over time the weight of the jumpers becomes crushing and constrictive. We are hardly able to function under the weight of who we think we are.
This is where both koans and Aya come in. They both, in their own ways, strip away this self identification. They wash the dirty cloth to make it clean once again. They rebirth the child back into the adults body.
Ayahuasca overstimulates the mind. Inundates it with information. Perhaps it disturbs the functioning which holds back subconscious knowledge from the conscious mind. It holds up a mirror and says “This is who you think you are”. It dredges up you shit and sticks it right in your face and says smell this.
It is a tsumani, it is a flood. It smashes your mind with a hammer. The ego battens down the hatches and waits for the waters to recede. The smashing waves have broken open the filing cabinets of the subconscious and washes away the thoughts of self, as the body purges itself.
The tensions and memories that have been held in the body are washed away.
In Zen,the self enquiry method of “who am I?” asks the file clerk to pull out the file on who I is. But the file clerk isn’t sure.
So the file clerk makes a best guess. “Is it this?”, “No”, “Is it this?”, “No”, “Is it this?”, “No”,
The file clerk becomes manic running around the mind opening the file draws an pulling out the various files.
The file for my name, the file for my age, the file for my race, the file for my gender. The file for my job, the file for my hobby.
The file clerk becomes exacerbated that it cant find the correct file. It starts grasping at any random file throwing it out as an answer.
May be I’m this memory, maybe I’m that memory. Maybe I’m this thought, maybe I’m that thought.
The file clerk starts looking all the files Buddhism to see if the rational answer is hidden in there somewhere.
In the end the file clerk is exhausted and stares at all of the files littering the floor. Non remain in any of the draws. The file clerk weeps in exasperation.
Awareness is still on but it is thoughtless.
All I is, is what it is, when whatever it is not, is removed.
So in conclusion both intensive zen meditation and Ayahuasca help you strip off the sweaters of self-identification and free the child to play and experience the joy of life.